Mommy where's Daddy?

One thing I don't think that I will ever be be able to fully understand is the choice of a man to be absent from his childrens lives. As a mother I could not imagine going several days without seeing, talking, or enjoying my children. However just as anything else, people don't always have the same opinions I do. As I can respect the difference of opinion, not pertaining to this I can't. It plain just pisses me off.

There can be several reasons leading up to this whether it is a nasty breakup, the father being immature, work overload, living far away, addiction or a combination of anything. However one thing needs to remain in the minds of the parents of these children, regardless what happens between the two of you, your children are still your children and deserve the love and attention from both parents. It is not the childrens fault that the pair of you decided to bring them into this world, and it is only selfish and disgusting to make them suffer or to for one minute think that they are not loved by a parent.

Father absence has been shown to be a major disadvantage to the well being of children. The statistics of fatherless children are not only alarming but to me personally very disturbing. Does this mean that these kids are doomed to failure? I personally don't think that they are automatically future failures. I grew up without my biological father, not by anyone's choice but the good lord, I was raised by step fathers. While as an adult I respect their decision to parent us, they never could replace what I really wanted, my dad. I'm sure I fit into these statistics in one area or another, but not by choice. I fit into the "poor" area not because I'm lazy but because I solely support my children. I fit into the depression statistic because it's hard to handle 4 kids 24 hours a day 365 days a week, not to mention working to support them, on top of trying to better myself personally to give them a better life. While I don't doubt the studies, I do realize that there are reasons other than pure laziness or lack of desire to wanting to give your children all that they deserve.

So on to the statistics...


Children from fatherless homes are:

• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
• 6.6 times to become teen aged mothers (if they are girls, of course),
• 24.3 times more likely to run away,
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.

Scary huh?

So fathers heres what you need to do to not only raise your children to be healthy, productive members of society.

• If you dont like their mother...So what. They are your kids take care of them. Not only financially but physically, emotionally.

• Dont refuse to see keep them on the weekend, especially if your weekends are used for nothing other than sitting on your ass on facebook, claiming that you have to work.

• When they ask you to spend time with them, do it. If they ask to spend the night, dont refuse them because your sitting on your ass on facebook.

• Be active in their life. If you do see them dont just sit on facebook. Do things with them. Ride a bike, read a book. 
• Don't miss their first day of kindergarten
• Don't refuse to watch them when their mother has to work just to be an ass and sit on facebook all night. They get more excitement out of you than they do a babysitter. Not to mention its easier and cheaper.
• Forget what happened between their mother and you, and all the anger you still carry and be an adult.
• It's never ok to push a crying kid off you that is begging you to take her with you. EVER.
• Your child is your child, act accordingly
• The hurt that you cause is more than likely irreversible. So quit screwing your child up because you are incapable of being an adult.
• GROW UP

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." ~~By Anne Sexton (1928-1974) U.S. poet.~~