If I ever needed something it was this on this specific day.

I am sure it has been topic of conversation before, and it isn't anything not obvious. Another sister is getting hitched. (Congrats Ape) Thus leaving me, out of all my siblings, the last Mohican. Even though out of pity April said she wouldn't get married until I did, she lied. I am so overjoyed with the extended family that I have inherited through the love that my siblings have given to their husbands/wife. I have the most awesome brother in laws, sister in law, nieces, and nephews that any girl could ask for. However, it kinda takes a toll on ones self esteem when they are the second born and their five siblings seemed to find their soul mates. It's been many holidays, get togethers, weddings, etc alone. Not because I am Drizella or Anastasia but because I've chosen to spend to much of my life with the wrong person. I've suffered many blows to my self esteem and often find myself asking the question, "whats wrong with me?" I have soul searched this question over and over. However I can't find anything that is really wrong with me. Matter of fact I seem to be almost perfect. {joke}. I have my quirks like everyone else, and I've made many mistakes, kissed a lot of frogs, cried, and laughed. However now that this day has come and I've been forced to deal with the emotions, I've learned that I am not defined by other people. Therefore I can not compare myself to others. I am writing this blog because I have finally triumphed this issue that I've been plagued  with for some time. This week I made a really tough decision, I let go of a relationship that I didn't want to. I did it for emotional need reasons, not because he wasn't a fabulous person. One of the best I've ever met. So I've bummed around the house, threw myself into things just to keep my mind off of it. I decided to bury myself into a book today. One of my favorite christian self help authors is TD Jakes. Upon looking for one of his Ebooks, I stumbled across this poem. It was my affirmation from God that I am finally ready to let this go. I feel 100 times better about being single. :)


"Because" by TD Jakes

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to
realize what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine less

Just because no one has been smart enought to figure out
that you can't be topped,

Doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on
your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, keep running, keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are alread. COMPLETE!!




AMBERS TOP 10 REASONS TO BE THE SINGLE SISTER


1. I'm the last McClain girl in the WHOLE McClain family.
2. I didn't have to spend a ton of money on a wedding
3. No one steals the covers from me at night.
4. I have sole control over my money
5. I don't have to hide my shopping bags
6. I can live in my sweatpants without worry that my husband will leave me.
7. I can watch daytime television all day and skip household chores without being judged.
8. I don't have to brush my teeth because no one will smell my breath. (not recommended)
9. I can disappear for days without anyone questioning where I went.
10. My toilet seat is always in the down position.


I hope I didn't make any of you girls jealous with this list, but if I did, take into consideration what you all marrying before me did to me. I love you Anne, Lindsay, April, Torrie and Tyler. You are all a girl could ask for from siblings. God truly gave me a special gift with each and everyone of you. 


Now for the last wedding of the family in a couple weeks. I am going dateless (not official) and I am ready to be a bridesmaid for the last time, and I am ready to tear up the reception. I'll rock the dress, the heels, the whole nine yards because I am who I am. I am excited to celebrate your special day April. May you find in Ryan what Anne found in Adam, Lindsay found in Dan, Torrie found in Denver, and Tyler found in Chelsea, and what I will find in Prince Charming. Because we all know Cinderella (me) gets it all in the end. 


P.S. If you look on the top left of this blog in my facebook preview. You will find that my status says "none"...and thats ok.